And most importantly one of
the many WEANINGS we will experience as Mothers. Weaning is when we
manage without something we have been strongly influenced by or accustomed to.
It is a change.As Dr. Ed Robb III
says, “Change can take our breath away.Let us remember to learn to wait on God.Why?Because God has a
plan.”We wean our children in each and
every season of life.Weaning is an
opportunity for us to step out into faith.
My plea to you. Please pray
fervently for your children's teachers. Your children are put above our very
own kids, day in and day out. You are letting go of your children at 5,
sometimes 6 YEARS old. We left the children we birthed, when they were 6 WEEKS
old, so that we could instead spend the day with YOUR child.
Sending my kids off at 6 weeks’
old was…
Painful
Fearful
Scary
Heart wrenching
But also a weaning--an
opportunity for me to step out in faith and be part of Gods plan.
'For I am the LORD who brought you up from the land of Egypt
to be your God; thus you shall be holy, for I am holy.'"
Leviticus 11:45
While you went to Meet the
Teacher with your Kindergartner, we missed our own childs Meet the Teacher,
because we were meeting your child. By the time we got home, our children
were already in bed asleep.We left for
work, before our children were awake.
While your child enjoys a
come and go, and you can spend time with the other Moms, my child is dropped
off and picked up by someone else, because I am in the classroom with your
children.
While you hope your children
will like their lunch, we hope our children take the bottle. You hope you made
enough lunch, we wonder if can we pump enough, and will the school we teach at
accommodate us, so that our children are fed too.
While you pack your childs
backpack, we pack a diaper bag, hoping we sent the right spare and needed
items.
When my children ask why I
wasn’t at XYZ, I have to explain to them, that I was with YOUR children.
While you say goodbye, I
just did too…
The real difference is, I on
the other hand have the PLEASURE of saying Hello, every single day, to your
children. THANK YOU Moms, for entrusting the care of your babies in my hands!
My plea to you, pray for my
family too. We are also weaning, stepping out in faith, so that we too can be a
part of Gods plan.
'Then Jesus said to her, “Woman, you have great faith!
Your request is granted."’Matthew
15:28
What are your life verses? You know, your go to Bible verses? The ones you know, love, and quote? I've always loved
Isaiah 40:8, The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God stands forever.
and
Isaiah 43:7, Everyone who is called by My name, And whom I have created for My glory, Whom I have formed, even whom I have made.
I have a new life verse thanks to our VBS theme--Submerged.
Psalm 139:23-24, God, you know everything about me; help me do what's right.
I find myself praying this Scripture daily, really hourly. Remember the old hymn, I need Thee every hour...so true.
I need Thee every hour, most Holy One; O make me Thine indeed, Thou blessed Son.
Here's usually how the prayer goes...
Roger III wanted to cook and spilled salt and cinnamon all over the floor... immediately I pray. God you know everything about my son, Roger; help me do what is right.
Abby is night weaning...as she asks for nurses (really demands) in the middle of the night and instead I give her snuggles, and I pray. God you know everything about Abby Jane; you know everything about me; help us do what is right.
As Roger and I argue, (yes my husband and I do not see eye to eye at all times), I pray. God you know everything about our relationship, about me, about us; help me do what is right.
As those ugly thoughts creep into my head, I pray. God you know everything about me; help me think what is right and focus on your Truth.
As I play with the kids, I pray. God you know everything about Roger and Abby; help me do what is right.
As the kids and I do clean toilets and do laundry, I pray. God you know everything about me; help me do what's right.
When Student A comes in the door, I pray. God you know everything about me, about Student A; help me do what's right. Help me handle this situation correctly.
What's so great about this Scripture is that you can pray it so easily, in good times and bad.
My kids are swimming at the pool and we are having a great time, I pray; God you know everything about today; help me do what's right.
The Holy Spirit is nudging me to encourage someone, I pray; God you know everything about Person A, help me say what's right.
Submerging ourselves in Scripture and prayer does not have to be difficult. In closing I would like to leave you with:
Ephesians 4:32, Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
Isaiah 40:8, "God
created us to glorify Him." The most valuable thing we can do is
worship Christ.
Romans 8:28, "We
know that in everything God works for the good of those who love him.
They are the people God called, because that was His plan." I get
asked somewhat frequently why I take my children into service. The answer is
plain and simple, teachable moments, which God has perfectly orchestrated
within our family. Our family loves to worship God, and bringing our
children into service is one way we teach our children to worship Him.
Proverbs 22:6, "Train a child how to live the right way. Then even
when he is old, he will still live that way."
At the time of writing
this, my son is 3.5 and my daughter is 1.5 years old. My son has always
sat in service with our family, since the day he was born. As he grew
older, I sat outside the sanctuary and we watched the service on TV,
training him to sit still and quietly. Our church does not have a mothers
room, a training area, a children's sermon bag, etc. My daughter usually sits
through the singing (first 15 minutes) and then I bring her to the nursery
area. I hope to start training her as well, right now I still feel the
need to focus on our son. (For the past two Sundays, both children have sat through the entire service with us. My son is now 3.75 and my daughter 23 months.)
Mark 10:14, "He
said to them, 'Let the little children come to me. Don't stop them.
The kingdom of God belongs to people who are like these little
children.'"
I pray the congregation sees our children's cries,
giggles, claps, Amen's, prayers, singing, whining, etc. as a joyful noise.
I pray they see that when we attend as a family the
Body of Christ is more fully present. Worship isn't private, it may
be personal, but it's not private; it is a community where ALL are
welcome, including our children.
I pray the congregation understands how important these
teachable moments are, so that in 10 years from now our children are still
sitting in the pews, knowing that worship is important and that they are a
vital part of the body of Christ.
I pray our children know they are vital to the body of
Christ EVERY Sunday, not just on Children's Sunday.
I pray the congregation sees our children are learning
through each of these teachable moments.
I pray the congregation sees that our family cares
about faith.
I pray the congregation welcomes our family, and
realizes that our children's worship matters, and that they are members of
the church community too.
I pray that my children know that they are welcome even
though they don't yet believe, pray, or worship in all the
"right" ways.
I pray the church sees our children as INTEGRAL parts
of the service--their cries, their giggles, their claps, their Amen's,
their prayers, their singing, their whining, etc.
Hebrews 4:12,
"God's word is ALIVE and WORKING." We enjoy being together and
doing things as a family. We value worship--there are infinitely many
teachable moments, as the Bible is ALIVE.
Deuteronomy 11:18,
"Remember My words in your hearts and souls. Write them down and tie
them to your hands as a sign. Tie them on your foreheads to remind
you." As parents, our greatest responsibility is to teach our
children, by our example, to glorify Him. One way we do this is through
worship. We want to teach our children about the importance of the body
of Christ. We want them to see us worshiping Christ, singing, praying,
listening to His Word, learning about the living God!
Psalm 81:10,
"Open your mouth, and I WILL feed you." We want our children to
see that we are hungry for His word and to learn more about Him and His
ways. I pray our children value the presence of our Almighty God.
1 Timothy 3:4,
"his children obey him with full respect." Our children should be
obedient and respectful. Asking our children to sit for any length of time
requires discipline, manners, sitting quietly, respect, and obedience. Each of
these are also acts that Christ also asks of us, at different times, in order
to be faithful to Him. As Billy Graham says, "A child who is allowed to be
disrespectful to his parents will not have true respect for anyone."
Deuteronomy 11:19,
"Teach My Words well to your children. Talk about them when you sit
at home and walk along the road. Talk about them when you lie down and
when you get up." Our children may be "bored," although
they are still hearing the words being sung, spoken, and prayed; the format
will feel familiar, some of the words are understood, and we can discuss, as a
family what the sermon was about and how we can relate and apply what was
taught. As we are singing great hymns of the faith and praise and worship
songs, I share with my my kids what we are saying, and why. We desire for
our children to know the One true God. I know they hear and remember bits
and pieces.
I pray the time we
spend with our children in worship is used as a catalyst for their personal
faith. I pray my husband and I can effectively teach our children the
most valuable thing we can do is glorify Him, and one way we can do that is
through worship. Isaiah 40:8, "God created us to glorify Him."
I would venture every woman who has ever had a positive pregnancy test is also well aware of the dreaded 11 letter M word--Miscarriage. It is a "club" no woman wishes to join. 1 in 3 pregnancies end in miscarriage. I have been told by countless women, the third pregnancy is the most difficult. They were right!
My husband and I were pregnant with our third child. I was due in May, perfect for a school teacher. The pregnancy caught us by surprise and we had not told many people that we were pregnant, but of course, we were happy! I took six pregnancy tests (5 are shown); I could not believe we were pregnant!
I also tested my breast milk, it showed a positive pregnancy test too.
I wanted to tell my parents in a fun way. With my first two, I "had" to tell them very early on, as I was running full marathons. Reality is, my fun pregnancy announcement, became a miscarriage announcement.
This was physically my toughest pregnancy. I was nauseated all day long, especially at night. I hardly ate, rarely ate dinner, and I lost 6 lbs, due to nausea, even though, I was never "sick." I was exhausted, and I went to sleep, as soon as RC3 and AJ went down.
At 8 weeks 3 days, I started spotting. I knew something wasn't right, but I also knew I couldn't change it. God is in control. At 9 weeks 3 days, I went to my first OBGYN appt to get my ultrasound and blood work confirming the pregnancy. Instead, I had an ultrasound that showed no heartbeat. I wish they would have given me that ultrasound picture. (They were able to give it to me at my following appointment, they had saved a picture!)
I felt as though the pregnancy was not real, there was no validation, just sticks I had peed on,weight that had been lost, lots of exhaustion, and a whole bunch of nausea.
That first appointment was long, difficult, and scary. I felt so alone and confused. Would the doctor recommended a D&C, would he say there was something wrong with me; that day was miserably lonely. I could cling to one person, and one person only, Jesus Christ. He gave me the strength and endurance that I needed that day, that moment, and he continues to each and everyday.
Thankfully, my doctor recommended that I pass our baby naturally. He said it could happen in one hour or in 3 weeks. My doctor was kind, and he gave me the raw realities of miscarraige, as well as time to process the impending miscarriage--time to process that week, that day, that hour, that moment... I wanted to miscarry then and there. It was one tough appointment.
Here I was, I had just left the doctor, I needed to go pick up my kids, I needed to tell my husband... I didn't know when or where my body would miscarry and life must go on. I was terrified to tell my husband; I didn't want him blaming me for the miscarriage. I was scared, my hormones and emotions running wild, and spiritually, I hurt. Why, God? What are you up to?
Monday night, after seeing the kids, and Roger meeting me, I went to Kroger by myself to buy pads, and I just cried. What should I buy? Pads, Depends, what brand, it was so overwhelming...I walked out and walked down to the local CVS. I talked to the pharmacist; they were not very helpful. So I bought my son a package of pull ups since they were on sale, and I walked back down to Kroger. I then called my Uncle Forest, since he cares for my Auntie Barb, and I asked him those girl questions... What to buy? He gave me recommendations and I walked out with some Always brand underwear. I knew that our baby could pass at any day or time, now when? I knew there would be large painful clots of blood. I knew I would go into labor at some unknown time and date.
Tuesday morning, I got up and went to work. I wore my special panties I had bought at Kroger, and I mustered the strength I needed to be there--thankfully my students were testing. I told the VP, and my department head, in case I needed to leave quickly, as the time of the miscarriage would be unknown. I was hugged and cared for. And went on about my day. Tuesday, I picked up the kids as normal, after work. I had a moment to tell my MIL, separate from my FIL, and I told her at that time. That evening I put on my "old lady panties" as well. I waited in agony for when that moment of miscarriage would happen.
RC3 had a scheduled doctors appointment on Wednesday, at the downtown medical center.
I took AJ to Nana and Papa Bobo's, and then RC3 and I went downtown and met Roger at the appointment.
No signs of impending labor at that time. After the appointment, we walked to the car, in the parking garage. I drove from the garage to the pay station and gate, and then to the area, where it was light. I told Roger he needed to drive, I was cramping very badly. We switched places, Roger drove to the Black Walnut in Rice Village. I realized I was contracting, and needed to be alone. The boys went inside and ate, while I sat in a parking garage alone.
I called my Mom, as the contractions got strong; I started to sweat, shake, and breath very methodically, through each contraction. I felt like I was dilated to an 8 or 9. With RC3s birth and Abby Jane's, I went from no signs of labor, to holding my children in 2 hours 40 minutes, and 3 hours even, respectively. This third birth was no different. I passed major blood clots while the boys were eating. When they came back, we went to Roger's office, and then drove back to The Woodlands.
We went to the bus barn, Roger picked up his car, and Roger and RC3 went on to RC3s speech intake appointment. I went home to shower and change clothes. I kept praying that God would allow me to hold our baby. I was now 9 weeks 5 days. (Almost 10 weeks pregnant, 1/4 of a pregnancy.) In the shower, I felt the urge to squat, and I did. At 2:45 pm, our baby was born, while I squatted in the shower. I gave him (I think our child was a boy, we will find out someday...) his first bath, and held him. I took some pictures , and then saved his body in case Roger wanted to see our son (or daughter). After showering, I placed our son in the fridge, in a Pyrex container. I didn't know what to do with the body. This was my child. Our child. God's child.
I left and met Roger and RC3 at his speech intake appointment. The appointment was fine. I tried to act like it was a normal day, while inside I was hurting. That night I went to bed, scared, lonely, confused...Clinging to Christ, that's all I could do.
Thursday morning, I had a work training. I got up and put on my "old lady panties" and off I went. I was now going through post partum bleeding, and didn't want to ruin my pretty panties. The training was fine, and upon returning to my campus, and speaking with my VP, she sent me to a counselor as soon as I told her I had given birth to our baby. God protected me, and gave me Christian people in place to love and care for me.
I spoke with the counselor most of the afternoon, then came back to my classroom to prepare Fridays lesson. Once finished, I went and picked up our children. I cared for our children as normal and tried to sit and talk with Roger that evening; he was not ready.
On Friday morning I had a name for our son. Asher John Craig. He was born two days prior on the 28 October 2015, at 2:45pm. Asher means God gives us happiness and John meaning God is gracious and merciful, two things that ring true to Asher John's pregnancy and birth. Roger seemed okay with the name. I needed to name our child, he did not share the same needs during this time of grieving.
At work on Friday, I was thankful for hugs from my students, kids who said they missed me, and understanding people, men and women alike. Women who hugged me, and men who felt my pain. I shared with those I felt led to share with and was thankful for the people who prayed with and for me. I felt led to share the picture of Asher John with one of my students. He looked at me and said, "Mrs. Craig, he's smiling. He's so happy."
My parents came Friday night. They hugged me and cried with me. Saturday morning, Roger took RC3 to his physical therapy intake, and Mom, Dad, Abby Jane and I held and buried Asher John Craig. My father prayed, we read Exodus 34:4-9, buried our baby, and then we prayed again.
Exodus 34:4-9New American Standard Bible (NASB)
4 So he cut out two stone tablets like the former ones, and Moses rose up early in the morning and went up to Mount Sinai, as the Lord had commanded him, and he took two stone tablets in his hand.5 The Lord descended in the cloud and stood there with him as [a]he called upon the name of the Lord.6 Then the Lord passed by in front of him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord God, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness and [b]truth;7 who keeps lovingkindness for thousands, who forgives iniquity, transgression and sin; yet He will by no means leave the guilty unpunished, visiting the iniquity of fathers on the children and on the grandchildren to the third and fourth generations.”8 Moses made haste [c]to bow low toward the earth and worship.9 He said, “If now I have found favor in Your sight, O Lord, I pray, let the Lord go along in our midst, even though [d]the people are so obstinate, and pardon our iniquity and our sin, and take us as Your own[e]possession.”
That afternoon, Mom and I bought a hydrangea, one of my favorite flowers. I will plant the hydrangea in honor of Asher John Craig. (Picture to come later.)
Sunday morning we sang Holy, Holy, Holy, one of the last hymns I sang with my Grandfather, before he passed. This was both difficult and healing for me.
Miscarriage is brutally painful. I know the first person Asher John saw was Jesus Christ, and that gives me hope. It does not take away the pain of the forfeited relationship, opportunities, and dreams. Miscarriage cannot be fixed, it can only be carried. I am so thankful for the many people who have done two simple things...they have acknowledged my pain and they have stood here with me. Whether they understood or not, they hugged me, gave me time and room to process, and most importantly, acknowledged my pain. I am extremely blessed by the many prayers, scriptures, and songs given, as I carry this grief.
God has protected my body. It continues to heal. God has been gracious and merciful. Asher John Craig is with Him, forever.
When I showed RC3 a picture of Asher John, he said, "look a bird." I didn't mean to show him the picture, but that's alright. Roger was right on, he pointed me to Christ in that simple moment. I am so thankful for Roger, Roger III (RC3), and Abby Jane.
If you want to see pictures of Asher John please scroll down and look.
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Tuesday, November 03, 2015
Monday, 17 September 2012, 3:45AM: Um...did I just pee my undies? That's a lot of liquid. Um...I don't think my water just broke, I'm not supposed to have a baby until October, and most first time mom's go past 40 weeks. Plus average is 41 1/7 weeks.
I then walked over to the bathroom, and this liquid kept coming out of me. Um...COAT...yah what did that stand for? Color, Odor, ?, ? oh and what was the odor supposed to be like if your water is breaking? I guess I can just go pee now, I actually have to go potty! So...I sat on the toilet and emptied my bladder, still half asleep and a little confused. Walked back to the sink to wash my hands and more water coming out!
I was excited, scared, and confused. This isn't how it's supposed to happen. I then stuck a washcloth in my panties to act as a pad, in case I wasn't done leaking, and went to wake up my husband. Some women leak/trickle, not me, call me Niagra! I had a lovely gushing fall. Waking up Roger is not a strength of mine, somehow I manage to scare him, so he freaked out, and all I wanted to do was wake him up and make sure he didn't roll over into the mess of amniotic fluid on the bed.
Both of us were tired, and not totally, 100% sure it was my water that had broke, so he put a towel over the bed, then a garbage bag, another towel, and "went back to bed." Yah, we didn't sleep, but tried to rest at least! I texted in sick, even though I knew, I wasn't coming back for a while.
At 9AM, Roger and I went to my OB/GYN. He took me back, did an exam, and said, "You need to go to the hospital. I'll call them and let them know you are coming." Which he did. We on the other hand, went to Black Walnut and Roger got a few hours of work done, while I researched the situation. We had wanted a natural childbirth, to go into labor when my body was ready. My water had broke and I had zero dilation or contractions.
While Roger worked away, I spoke with four or five women, and each of them said the same thing, go to the hospital. You trust and pay your OB for a reason. We looked into some methods to induce labor, but since my water had broken, it wasn't so easy. I am also GBS+, therefore I needed antibiotics, technically when my water broke.
Around noon I called my Mom to let her know that we would be going to the hospital in the next little while, and the baby would be coming later today or tomorrow. My Mom got things ready and started making her way to The Woodlands. She also called my Dad to let him know. Molly and Levi were texted, although, since this was a Monday, they could not come up.
I never finished this...a few years ago, but I thought I would post what I started...
Wow, so I haven't posted in 8 months, almost 9 months! And guess what, there have been lots of changes! And wonderful ones! Roger and I have been happily (well most of the time) enjoying wedded bliss! I conceived in mid-January, and we now have a baby due in early October! For years I have dreamed of being a wife, and then a Mom, and it is now a reality. Below are pictures from our first U/S.
Arm
Leg
Full Body
Gender Proof
I have been scared that we would not have the things needed for our new baby boy, yes, baby boy, A Roger Craig III (RC3). Chelsea, one of the leaders of our Sunday School class, graciously took me to go register for baby items--it's been done at Amazon, Target, and Babies R Us. I did not even know where to begin! Thanks, Chelsea!
And then...our Sunday School class threw us a baby shower. Thanks ladies, and thanks Rachel for hosting! Pictures below.
"R" Sugar cookies, Rachel made as a party favour for A Roger Craig III
Invitation
Part of the table set up
Rachel also painted wooden letters for us spelling ROGER!
Marley, Ashley, and myself...Kristin is hiding (not really) she was picking up all the wrapping paper!
Kendra and Laine
Picture of the fun loot! RC3 is one blessed boy!
Fun shower game! Guessing the size of my belly! Rachel measuring and Chelsea looking on! I think it was 37" at the time. I don't remember!
I was feeling very down one day, and wondering, how in the world we would be able to provide for our son. I know God provides, although sometimes it is hard to remember. I was pleasantly surprised by a package, from one of Rogers good friends, Fred, who sent us receiving blankets, just as I was hitting my point of worry. It was a perfect reminder that GOD IS FAITHFUL IN ALL!
For our wedding Roger and I were given multiple Amazon gift cards. We used those gift cards to purchase a jogging stroller, a crib, a kitchen clock radio, and lots of salsa. Thankfully we were given Amazon and Target gift cards, as that has enabled us to purchase baby items.
Rogers parents ABF class has graciously offered to shower our baby boy later this month. I am quite excited about this, as some of the ladies have made quilts! We already received a fun baby quilt from a lady at the church.
And then, Molly, my sister (in law), is hosting a shower in San Antonio, with our good friends, Kit, Sara, and Laura! We sure are blessed and loved!
Do I believe GOD IS FAITHFUL IN ALL? You betcha! Is it hard to remember? You betcha!
Advent prepares us for the coming of Christ—we learn about the love, peace, joy, and the hope that we have in God.As Roger and I prepare for Christmas, we are excited about the hope that we receive through Jesus.When our hopes and desires are fulfilled, we see and experience God’s faithfulness.Upon receiving Roger and I’s wedding invitation, a friend recently asked me, “How does it feel to know that you have been found by what God has promised?How does it feel to know that you are living in God’s promises?”My answer was simple and immediate, “Amazing!”
FULFILLED HOPES:
Marriage
Gained parents, brothers, and sisters
Roger’s job is now based in Houston
Faith ran two marathons with her father, and one with her Uncle Bert
As you read our fulfilled hopes, I challenge you to reflect upon and experience God’s goodness and grace.Christ the Lord is here among us, our Saviour was born on Christmas day!“Light and life to all He brings; Ris’n with healing in His wings…Born that man no more may die, Born to raise the sons of earth, Born to give them second birth…”
