The trouble with fruit...or running long distance

Jon Acuff continues to challenge me with his blog postings, thoughts, and ideas. Read on, my friends. :)

The Trouble With Fruit

I’m starting to hate Gordo.

At first, he seemed like a good guy. Always around, up for a good time, he was the life of a party. Now though, after spending a few months with him, I beginning to think he might be a bad influence.

On my pants.

Over the last few months I’ve been hanging out way too much with “Gordo’s Cheese Dip,” the microwaveable version of queso that Walmart sells. I put on 10 pounds and several pairs of my pants are suddenly too short. At first I hoped it was the arrival of my much prayed for late growth spurt that would add a foot to my height, thus allowing me to dunk. But unfortunately that is not the case.

Now clearly, 10 extra pounds is not a massive crisis, but let’s do the math. I gained 10lbs in four months. Over a year, that’s a potential 30 extra pounds. That is a big deal. So I did what I did in college to get in shape, I ran three times and thought about being healthy. But apparently, your metabolism goes on sabbatical when you turn 35 because that did nothing.

Frustrated, and now wearing pants from the “husky” side of my closet, I decided something needed to change. I started eating a slow carb diet. I read that people who keep food photo diaries made better eating decisions so I started to take a photo of all my meals. I stopped eating snacks after dinner and quit drinking soda. I started going to a trainer three days a week with some buddies from work.

And in the middle of this new found discipline, I realized something disappointing:

I apply more focus and purpose to my diet than I do my deity.

With gusto I was now devouring spinach and drinking massive amounts of water. I was eating legumes by the bushel, two words I had never even used before. I was killing myself in the gym with a football style weight sled called the “prowler.” I made a commitment to being healthy and was executing that commitment with ferocity.

All the while ignoring my faith.

I’d read the Bible, if I thought of it.

I’d grab a quiet time, if nothing else came up.

I’d pray in between things, if I could fit God into the margins of my day.

And although my pants started to fit better after a few weeks, my heart and soul continued to suffer as I treated God like a casual hobby, not a critical savior. Have you ever done that? Have you ever said, “I just have such a hard time maintaining a consistent quiet time! I’m just not good at forming habits!” Meanwhile, your diet is on point, you never miss an episode of your favorite TV show and your weekly progress reports to your boss are a well organized thing of beauty.

I probably wouldn’t have been so bothered by my realization about my diet if the Bible was fuzzy on this issue, but it is unfortunately not. Here is what Proverbs 3:9 says:

“Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops”

That word, “firstfruits” is a powerful one. We’re not called to give God the last scraps of our fruit, the remainder, but rather the “firstfruits.” Now clearly, there are financial ramifications to that verse, but what if it’s bigger than that? What if we’re called to give:

The firstfruits of our time.

The firstfruits of our creativity.

The firstfruits of our focus.

The firstfruits of our energy.

The firstfruits of our love.

Can you imagine what church would be like if members gave the firstfruits of their creativity to the Lord? We complain that the church is cheesy sometimes. Of course it is, we’ve been feeding it rotten fruit.

Can you imagine what church would be like if we gave the firstfruits of our love? We like to take shots at the church for being unloving and judgmental. Of course it is, we’ve been feeding it rotten fruit.

Can you imagine what it would be like for your life if you gave God the firstfruits of your time? I can’t because all too often I’ve given him rotten fruit. But I’m trying to change that and I’ve already learned something new in the process.

When I give God my firstfruits in the morning, when I start the day with him, it’s like putting on 3D glasses. The rest of the day looks different. I can see his hand more clearly, hear his voice louder, and feel his touch closer.

I’m not perfect at the firstfruits concept. At heart, this is an “I’m failing, but don’t want to” post. But with grace and hope, I’m working on being more deliberate with my firstfruits.

Let’s stop giving God our last fruits.

Jon Acuff could not have hit the nail harder on the head. I run anywhere from 45-65 miles per/week, depending where in my training schedule I am. I run in rain, cold weather, heat, humidity, you name it...but I am not near as good at reading my bible and spending time in the Word, as I am at keeping up with my running schedule. God doesn't call me to run, then spend time with Him, God asks for the firstfruits of my time.

I believe the consequences of spending more time with Jesus, would be quite positive. The thought of feeding Christ rotten fruit is sad. And far too many days, I don't even give Jesus the rotten old fruit, my quiet time just goes by the wayside.

My challenge to you (and myself) this week, is to give to Christ the firstfruits of our creativity, focus, energy, love, and time. How are you going to bless others this week?

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders...

The past few weeks have been fabulous, but they've also been challenging! On my drive back to H-Town, I was listening to my Zune on shuffle all, and I was reminded of this hymn.

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up... To more than I can be.

Today's sermon was about staying in the midst of difficult situations, even when we just want to run away. We were reminded of Paul's choice of staying in the jail cell, and praising God, where he was at. God uses our testimony for His glory. It is Christ who gives me strength, who places me on His shoulders, when troubles come, and my heart is burdened. Gods response is simple, He comes and sits with me a while. He then picks me up, places me on His shoulder, allowing me to stand on the highest mountain, and cross the stormy seas.

Dad and I

Fort Sam Houston Army 10 Miler and Memorial 20 Miler

Race: Fort Sam Houston Army 10 Miler and Memorial 20 Miler
Distance: 20 miles
Goal: Have fun! (I knew I could complete the 20 miles!)
Goal Time: None
Actual Time: 03:04:22 (9:13 min/mi)

This was a fun weekend! My friend, John came down with me, and he ran the 10 miler, while I ran the 20 miler. John and I ran the first mile together, and then after that I increased my speed to catch up with my friend Bee. Bee and I ran miles 4-10 together. Due to a prior injury, and not wanting to continue to hurt herself, and a lack of training, Bee finished at the ten mile point. I continued to run, and ran the entire 20 miles. Bee even came out around mile 13 to cheer me on and take pics! My time was nothing spectacular; I finished, and I enjoyed the run. :)

Leaving your Bible at home...

This blog entry cracked me up! Especially the part about Sunday's being a free ride! :) Read on and enjoy!

Feeling Bad About Leaving Your Bible At Home When You Go On Vacation

December 10, 2010

(John Crist is a stand up comedian. He’s a professional funny person. He just opened up for Louie Anderson out in Vegas. And today he’s sharing an awesome, hilarious guest post. Enjoy)

I just booked my flight home for Christmas. Things are already starting to get awkward between me and my Bible.

You see, my Bible and I have the relationship of a typical church couple. In public, we get along like feltboard Joseph and Mary. But when it’s just us, we feud like Christians and anyone who opposes Glen Beck.

Every time I go out of town the same mental exchange happens. He wants to go with me, I don’t have room in my bag.

I typically goes something like this…

“You might need me,” my Bible says. “What if the person sitting next to you on the plane asks about the Roman Road?”

“Yeah,” I argue sarcastically. “And when we’re all watching the game at the bar and the John 3:16 sign pops up behind the goal post some drunk guy is gonna yell out, ‘HEY! Pause this game! What does John 3:16 actually say? Does anyone have a Bible?’”

“Stop mocking me. You’re gonna leave me here ALL weekend,” he responds, “with Mere Christianity and Every Man’s Battle?”

“Its only three days,” I say. “Plus, everyone know that Christians don’t do devotions on Sundays…so technically, its only two days.”

“Wait,” he asks surprised. “Christians don’t do devotions on Sundays?!

“No, its kind of an unspoken free pass. We figure going to church counts as our devotions.” I say, then pausing awkwardly. “I mean, I’ll write a guest post for Stuff Christians Like and ask all the other Christians what they do…but I’m pretty sure that’s pretty standard.”

I keep packing, refusing to make eye contact.

“Here’s the deal,” I say honestly, “I usually bring you along for the same reasons I keep the Christian stations preset in my car radio. I never listen to them but I feel like my car will spontaneously explode Mission Impossible style if I substitute “Safe for the Whole family” for “Denver’s #1 Party station.”

“No one will even notice me,” he pleads. “I’ve done everything I can in the last couple years to disguise myself so no one else knows I’m actually a Bible.”

I confess. “Its not just about this trip. I’ve been avoiding you like a church acquaintance who’s just joined a pyramid scheme.”

“We’ve been together for 17 years, I should be at toothbrush status by now!” he says, “Never spend the night somewhere without it.”

“Yeah,” I sigh, “but you’re more like towel status. I assume the place I’m going will have one.”

“Oh, I see where your heart is,” he says, like he knows something I don’t.

“OH! Now you gonna go all “rich young ruler” on me?!”

“I’m just sayin,” he responds calmly.

“We don’t even hang out anymore anyway!!”

“I wish we spent more time together.”

“I would, but all my Christian friends are skeptical of our relationship now anyway because when we DO hang out its always at night, they say you’re a morning person?”

“Don’t listen to them. I’m here for you whenever you need me.”

“The only time you ever want to hang out is when I’m really tired or right after I’ve done something really bad!”

“Fine.”

“FINE!”

I slam the door and walk out.

“Actually, one more thing,” I walk back in and grab my Bible. “I’m nervous that my roommates will see you on my nightstand and judge me because I didn’t bring you along…sooooo, I’m gonna have to put you in the sock drawer. Sorry!!!”

(For more great stuff from John, check out his Youtube page.)

A Surprise Idol

I just thought this was a good reminder. Read on...

A Surprise Idol

“Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen…” Rev. 2:4,5 Our Lord is not comforted by the respectability of our idols. He is not less grieved when we choose a more dignified god to make love to. Imagine a husband discovering that his wife is having an affair with a wealthy, highly respected man in the community. He confronts her and she admits her guilt. But then she adds, “But he’s a great guy, very intelligent, fun, and quite well off. At least I didn’t fall for a janitor or a gardener or someone like that.” Would he take solace in the status of his rival lover? Would his heart be less shredded because she had given herself to someone highly respected? Of course not. And this, it seems to me, is exactly what is happening in this passage. “Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love.” are not words of minor correction, but the heart cry of a wounded Lover. What was the church of Ephesus guilty of? Idolatry. Or in other words, spiritual adultery. But the rival lover was so respectable, so dignified, that one would be easily tempted to write it off as a slight misstep. But Christ sees it as no mere misstep, but an out and out fall. “Remember therefore from where you have fallen…” Let me say it again, our Lord is not comforted by the respectability of our idols. So what was the idol of the Ephesian church? Money, sex, prestige…? No, something far more seductive to committed Christians - ministry. Significant ministry. Christ-focused ministry. Ministry which received our Lord’s commendation. “I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary.” But ministry, important as it is in the believer’s life, can still become an idol. A highly respected idol. A highly accepted idol within the church. A highly praised idol by other believers. But an idol is an idol is an idol. And it still grieves the heart of our Savior because it is still adultery against Him any way you slice it. And what an astonishing, astonishing truth all this raises. Our Lord desires intimacy with us over service by us. (Lk. 10:38-42) He yearns passionately to be alone with us, to enjoy the intermingling of our spirit with His, and waits eagerly for us to join Him in the dance of the ages. But to join Him in that unrivaled dance, we must turn our back on the myriad of other partners who would woo us away. And perhaps the most seductive of all those partners is ministry. Certainly it is the most respectable. But good as it is, it is still an it. And our souls are made for a Him.

Copyright © 2010 Kindling For The Fire. All Rights Reserved.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas brings hope into this world. I went to a concert a couple weeks ago, and the following lyrics were sang:

Could something good have really happened here?
A baby's turned a stable into holy ground

God is holy. I think too many people forget that God is to be revered. When we pray the Lords prayer, a model prayer, we begin with,

"Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed by Thy name..."

The first thing we do is state His holiness, we honour Him, we glorify Christ! Why is it that in many contemporary services, the first thing people do is sing songs about How great God is because of what He did for us? This is the number one reason I do not like contemporary services, as a general rule. The services are self centered, and not God centered. It's not bad to be thankful for what God has done for you, but first we are to hallow His name; and by consecrating His name, we are glorifying the King!

In reading the Bible, it begins with,

"In the beginning God..."

It does not begin with you or me. The New Testament begins with

"The record of the genealogy of Jesus the Messiah..."

Once again, it begins with Christ. In a world filled with selfishness, a Christmas season, where people forget to hallow and glorify The King, my favourite Christmas carol this season is, "The Little Drummer Boy."

Come they told me (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
A newborn King to see (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
Our finest gifts we bring (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
To lay before the King (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
So to honor Him (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
When we come

Little baby (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
I am a poor boy too (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
I have no gifts to bring (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
That’s fit to give a King (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
Shall I play for You (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
On my drum, on my drum

I play my drum, I play my drum for the One who saved me

Mary nodded (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
The ox and lamb kept time (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
I played my drum for Him (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
I played my best for Him (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
Then He smiled at me (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
Me and my drum, me and my drum

I play my drum, I play my drum for the One who saved me

I write this blog for the One who saved me...I spend time in the Word for the One who saved me...I serve others for the One who saved me...What do you do for the One who saved you? How do you glorify the King? How do you hallow His name? What gifts do you bring our Saviour?

30 Before 30...

Everyone has goals and desires, things they want to do. In Stuff Christians Like, one of the challenges was to come up with your own, number of things you want to do, BEFORE, the age of the number of things you want to do. I liked this and thought I would share my personal 30 Before 30. I turn 30 in 230 days. So...in the next 230 days these are things that I would like to accomplish. Please note, these are in no particular order.

1. BQ--Qualify for the Boston Marathon
   
2. PR--By qualifying for Boston, I will make a personal record
3. Continue having fun running
4. Run a 3:30 marathon--8:00 min/mi pace
5. Consistently weigh my ideal weight
6. Eat proper and healthy
7. Enjoy continued good health
   
8. Be a better bump skier
   
9. Learn to pole plant and use my poles when I ski
10. Have a group of girls who love me enough to tell me when I'm outta line...I desire an accountability group, a core group
11. Disciple a young woman
12. Share Christ with someone
13. Find a good community in H-town
14. Be more involved with local missions
15. Go on another short term mission trip
    
16. Be a better math teacher
17. Be a better cook
18. Play more cribbage
19. Save $8,000 (ideally $10,000, but once I put money in my IRA, I don't think this is going to be possible)
20. See my Grandma and extended family on Mom's side
21. Spend time with my Grandparents and extended family on Dad's side
22. Be a better daughter to my parents
23. Be a better sister to my brother
24. Be a fabulous sister to my new sister, Molly, Levi's fiance
25. Be a better friend
26. Be in a dating relationship
27. Spend more time with God
28. See God more clearly
29. Love God more dearly
30. Follow God more nearly

So there you have it...my 30 Before 30...who needs New Years Resolutions with lists like these? :) What's on your list?

Teenager talk...

I thought I would share some quotes from my students...each of these is interesting to me, as it shares a piece of their culture.

• When I told the students they were not allowed to eat in the classroom, including cupcakes, a student retorted, "Miss T, you need to eat about 20 cupcakes. Men like thick women."
  
• I have a student that likes to greet me with, "Hey girl!" At first this bothered me, now I find it kind of amusing.
  
• After asking a student about her father, another girl chimes in, "Miss T, black people don't have Daddy's."

These are just a few of the things that I hear on a daily basis. I ask you to pray for each of my students.

Broken expectations

Once again, Jon Acuff writes a very timely entry.

The soft X.

December 1, 2010

I cried in the Chicago Airport.

And these were not tough guy, lumberjack, I just punched a mountain lion in the face with my bare fist kind of tears. These were sad and tired and give up tears.

I was flying home from a conference in Chicago. I had been the closing keynote speaker and it had gone really well. That’s not what I was crying about though. I was crying because of what I knew would happen when I landed.

I knew I would take the train to my car, grab work clothes, change in the handicapped stall and then disappear into a sea of cubicles. I didn’t hate my job, not at all, it just wasn’t what I felt called to do. The Stuff Christians Book wasn’t out yet, but the site was doing well. I had this completely different life starting to develop and it was hard to go back to work and act like Chicago had all been just a dream.

This was long before the opportunity at Dave Ramsey. This was a doldrums period where I was just writing and writing and writing, but things weren’t happening the way I thought they would.

I sat in meetings about TPS reports and budgets and would get frustrated with God, wondering if he even saw me. Wasn’t he the one who put this burning in my heart? Wasn’t it his call that I was answering? This wasn’t how life was supposed to go.

Have you ever felt that way?

Has there ever been a situation where you had an expectation that you felt like God simply wasn’t meeting? I think most of us have experienced that.

Right now, someone reading this blog is mourning a marriage that fell apart. You wanted to be the first in your family to have a grandkid for your parents, not the first to get divorced.

Right now, someone is in a gray cubicle and the degree they got, the passion they followed in college is a million miles away from how they spend 40+ hours every week.

Right now, there’s someone struggling with an issue that refuses to release it’s talons even though you’re occasionally able to shake it for a few “good weeks.”

Right now, someone had to send out wedding cancellation notes, because it’s off.

Right now, there’s a man who feels a lot less than a man because he doesn’t have a job and can’t provide for his family.

Right now there are a million different versions of “Don’t you see me God?” happening. And so we doubt and get angry and lonely. But we are not the only ones with expectations that go astray.

In Genesis 48, the same thing happens to Joseph, of the double rainbow coat fame. He has brought his two sons to his father Israel for his blessing. We don’t understand this culturally because we don’t really do this anymore, but this was a critical, massive thing that was about to take place. Manasseh was about to receive Israel’s blessing. That was what should happen. That was what Joseph expected.

Joseph the faithful. Joseph the former slave, former convict, former saved all of Egypt from death and destruction. Joseph had a great track record at this point. He was a deeply wise man of God. He knew what was about to happen. By lineage, by tradition, by faith, Manasseh was about to get blessed by Israel.

Only he doesn’t.

It doesn’t happen that way. Instead of doing what he should have done, Israel crosses his arms and forms an X, placing his hands on the heads of the wrong children. He blesses Ephraim, the wrong son in Joseph’s mind.

And in 48:17 we see what happens: When Joseph saw his father placing his right hand on Ephraim’s head he was displeased; so he took hold of his father’s hand to move it from Ephraim’s head to Manasseh’s head.

Joseph has lived his entire life with one belief about how a blessing is passed down. This is his, “I got my Master’s Degree in teaching, I should get a teaching job” moment. This is his, “People get married after college, that’s what they do,” moment. This is what he’s always been ready for and it goes the exact opposite way.

So Joseph, like me or you trying to fix a mistake, says, “No, my father, this one is the firstborn; put your right hand on his head.”

And how does Israel respond? Does he say, “Oh, I am failing of sight and made a mistake?” Does he reply, “Thank you for correcting this situation?”

No.

He says simply, “I know, my son, I know.”

And that is an incredibly tender thing to say as someone’s expectations crumble.

And I think it’s something God still says to us, even today.

“I know, my son, I know. I know, my daughter, I know. That thing you wanted is not going to happen. Not the way you’ve always dreamed. I know this hurts. I know this stings. I know you feel like I am distant or not aware of where you are and who hurt you and what you think life was supposed to be like. I know in moments like this you doubt that I can count the hairs on your head or have your best in mind. But please, I am not done. I have barely started to reveal your life to you. I am the God who satisfies your desires with good things. That is me! And when it comes to your hopes and your fears and your dreams, I know, my son, I know.”

I think of this moment as the “soft x.”

I think of the tenderness of Israel with his arms outstretched and crossed. I think of our desires and our dreams and the times they don’t work. And above all, I think of a God who wants to tell you he hears you, he loves, he knows you. He is not disconnected or disinterested in who you are and who you want to be. Today, he says,

“I know, my son, I know.”

I am excited for my brother--and happy that he is getting married, although, it is difficult for me. He is my little brother. My friends in High School always thought I would be the first to get married, and have children, rather, I am not even dating, and I am the last. I like men, I keep my eyes open, and I gladly accept a date. Although, I have not found the correct man. I love Molly, Levi's fiancee--she is a beautiful woman, trying to live out life, honouring Christ.

As happy as I am for my brother (and Molly), it hurts to see him have what I have wanted since I was a little girl. It feels as though God is laughing at me. My brother will be the first to get married, my brother will have the first grandchild, what's left for me? This past year in a half has been filled with so many broken expectations, and each one of them bite, sting, and cause great pain! How about you put a little more salt on these hurting wounds?

The only thing I can do is cling to the fact that God is not done. He has just begun to reveal my life to me. I know God provides, and I know He has given me dreams, hopes, and goals for a reason. I must remember He is the God who satisfies my desires with good things.

San Antonio Marathon

Race: San Antonio Rock n Roll Full Marathon
Distance: 26.2 miles
Goal: Have fun! (I knew I could complete the 26.2 miles--I had just finished my first marathon three weeks prior!)
Goal Time: 03:45:00
Actual Time: 03:43:28 (8:31 min/mi)

Miles 1-8, I ran with my friend, Bee, and my new friend, Ed. Bee had a hamstring owie, so I chose to keep on going without her. Somewhere between miles 10 and 20, I sped up...oops, I should've kept pace. Around mile 17, a friend from church, Christy, saw me, and cheered me on! At mile 21.5 give or take, Mom and Dad came out and cheered me on. It was really cool when Dad started running with me! He asked me a couple questions--this was pretty much the only time I spoke during the 26.2 miles. It was fun to hear my Dad compare me to the energizer bunny. :) My last two miles were the absolute hardest, and I was ready to quit, although, I saw a friend, told him I needed some encouragement, and he encouraged me to keep on going. I can't remember what he said, it does not matter, he believed in me.

The last two tenths of a mile were difficult. We had to run up a little hill. As I was ready to quit, a woman looked at me and said, "look at all these men you've already beat, keep on running girl, you have it in you!" That little comment brought me to the finish line. Mom and Dad were able to get a couple pictures at the finish line. Mom even had a picture of me and a man wearing a shirt that said "Stop Forest Stop" right as I was crossing the finish line. Too bad that was on my phone, and my phone was stolen; I cannot share the picture.

I am thankful for all the encouragement I receive from people; I am thankful for people that believe in me; I am thankful for people that care for me. I am thankful for an incredible running coach.

Pictures...maybe later? They are on Dad's camera. He was able to get some great shots! :)

One thing at a time...

I've been going to a Thursday evening worship service, and one of the things we've been discussing is our sin and the positive and negative consequences directed to both ourselves and others. I also regularly read Jon Acuff's blog, "Stuff Christians Like."

He recently posted the following.

My friend used to deal drugs.

I tell you this, not to add an element of excitement to his testimony, as we are prone to do when we encounter someone who has a really crazy, Jason Bourne like testimony.

I tell you this, because two weeks ago he taught me an important lesson about faith.

We were talking about a famous singer who recently got arrested for having a bag of cocaine on him in a bathroom. The singer told the police that this was the first time he’s ever tried cocaine. When I told my friend that, he said it wasn’t true. He said it was virtually impossible for that to have been his first time. Knowing that my friend didn’t follow this musician or really have any knowledge of him, I asked him why he could be so sure of that.

Here is what he told me:

“No one carries drugs with them the first time they use. No one has the lack of fear it takes to carry a few grams of coke the very first time you try it. No one is alone in a bathroom, carrying a controlled substance the first time they have it. It starts slowly. You’re at a party where it is present. There are a few lines at a friend’s house. Somewhere you bump into it casually. You try it that way long before you decide you’ll be out at a nightclub with a bag of it in your pocket.”

That makes sense to me and more than that, it feels a lot like every other sin in my life.

Nothing I’ve ever done, whether lying or drugs, pornography or gossip, started out with a bag in a bathroom. As I’ve said before, no one wakes up on a Tuesday morning and says, “Today, I’m going to embezzle!” No one says, “At lunch, I’m going to get 10 DUIs and go to jail!” The path to completely destruction never starts out that way.

And neither did the Prodigal Son story. I can’t write about that story enough. It’s the perfect example of small steps to big stupid. In that story, we often like to think that the son got his inheritance from his father and then took a G6 jet straight to hookertown.

But that’s not what Luke 15 says. In fact, this is what we see in Luke 15:13

And not many days after the younger son gathered all together and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living.

Did you see that? The Prodigal Son packed. For days, he packed his bags before he left the father’s side. He took small steps. He made small mistakes and then he left.

So my question to you today, my question to me is pretty simple:

Are you packing?

Right now, today, are you packing your things to leave the safety of the father? Are you getting your things together for a disastrous trip to somewhere you’ve been before, down a path that will leave you wounded and beaten? Is your luggage laid open on your bed and you can’t get things together fast enough?

Are you packing?

If you are, tell a friend. Tell someone who knows you. Did you ever notice that about the Prodigal Son story? He had no friends. Other than the father and the older brother, no one cared that he was gone. His was a friendless existence. He packed alone.

Let’s put the luggage down. Let’s release the baggage. It’s time to stop leaving and instead start living.

Are you packing?

It makes me think about the things I do that I should not. I decide something's okay, just this once, just once more, and just once more--it becomes a habit. I am poking pins into that water balloon. A bunch of pins can create a gash the size of a knife over time.

I am thankful for accountability partners. I am thankful for the time of confession at church. I am also thankful for the assurance of forgiveness.

First Full Marathon: Chosen Marathon for Adoption

Marathon Tidbits

• I have wanted to run a full marathon (26.2 miles) since I was 14 years old.
• I chose to run Marathon for Adoption because the money went to families that are adopting and to an orphanage in Ukraine. A piece of me is forever in Ukraine.
• I have been training to run this full marathon since February.
• My first run with my club (Run A-Way Club) was 10 miles. I was already running 30 miles/week when I started running with the club.
• I have the best coach ever, John Purnell!
• I am blessed over and over through Coach, other runners, and with amazing health.

A year ago, I could hardly walk. Not because of my legs, or even my lungs, rather my epinephrine was sky rocket high. I was in fight or flight all the time. I was exhausted, terrified, and wanted to jump out of my skin. I wanted to die so that all those awful feelings and odd happenings in my body would go away. Jesus didn't let this happen. He gave me the best mother in the world, who refused to let me play sick, and forced me to walk, even when it was at 0.5 mph on the treadmill for 2 minutes at a time!

People run for many different reasons. My marathon was a 15 year dream come true. It is also a testimony to Gods healing power. Training has been intense--I went from hardly walking, to jogging, to running 15 miles per week, to running 30 miles per week, to running 60 miles per week. Some people describe me as intense, others describe me as dedicated or driven; the dole juice box describes me as daring and playing. However you choose to describe me, this race was a personal victory! Oh and why do I run? For fun! =)

Race: Chosen Marathon for Adoption Full Marathon
Distance: 26.2 miles
Goal: Have fun! Complete 26.2 miles!
Goal Time: Under 4 hours
Actual Time: 04:04:37 (9:20 min/mi)

Before the race I was nervous, excited, and ready to go. I was bummed that it was super humid and 80F outside. I decided my goal time might need to be revisited (it never really was). The course was quite hilly as well. I train on the flats--San Antonio and Houston are flat.

When the race started, it was still quite dark outside--this was awesome! For the first 2.5-3 miles I just ran. I had no clue how fast or slow I was going. I just went, and loved it! Early morning runs, where you just go, without looking at the heart rate, or pace, are my favourites. The first few miles were glorious in my opinion. I stopped and drank water at every water stop.

I think it was somewhere between miles 9 and 12 I was poured on. Yes, it was raining. Yes, it made the course slick.

As I approached "the summit," (up a huge hill) the half way point, I was told that I was the third female. I saw my parents, my brother and his now fiance, and my two good friends, Lauren and Steven, cheering me on. This was one of the best moments in my life. Not once has someone gone to a race of mine to cheer me on or to watch me. I think the best part of it all was Dad taking pictures, and then running about 1/10 mile with me. It took energy to hold back tears of joy. I am blessed with a family and friends that support me! I kept thinking you have 13.1 more miles to go, you cannot cry, too much energy.

The next 13.1 miles were pretty enjoyable, minus a few details.

Mile 21: My left foot went numb, and I had a really bad side stitch, and I stopped and relieved myself.

Miles 22-24: These were hard, the hills were really getting to me. I never felt like I could not run, rather I felt like I could not run another hill.

Mile 24: I was passed up by the female that won third place.

Mile 26: I could hardly believe that I was about finished! I crossed the finish line smiling. I had no clue what my time was going to be--I was happy and disappointed at the same time--4:04:37. I really wanted my time to be under 4 hours. But...I ran a good race, and my time is nothing to be ashamed of. Upon completing the race, Dad came and gave me a hug. I came in smiling, although when Dad gave me a hug, I cried--tears of joy, tears of completion, tears knowing that my family loves and supports me! At the finish line were two of the women in my club--Lisa and Tina--they had walked the half in their goal time!

This past week I have taken it a little slower, although, I was trained well and was not all that sore. Monday I ran 8 miles, Tuesday I ran mile repeats, Wednesday I ran 4 miles, Thursday 8 miles, I took off Friday, and ran 11 miles on Saturday. I am looking forward to another week of running, and my race in two weeks.

Other tidbits. I told my Mom and Dad that I would be shooting for a much slower pace. I figured given the heat and humidity, I was not going to be able to run like I had originally wanted to. I warned them that I would be slow at getting to the half way point. My mother was reiterating this to someone, also stating that it was my first full marathon. Many were pleasantly surprised when I reached the summit, and it was stated that I am a legitimate runner. :) This was a great comment to me! I'm legit!

Running is fun! =)

My fabulous fan club! Mom, Steven, Lauren, Levi, Molly!

Still smiling after 26.2 miles!

4:04:37! 4th woman to finish, and 2nd place in my age division (18-29 Female)

Confession: I'm terrified that Jesus will abandon me

Nor let my hope be lost. I know that safe with Him remains, protected by His power, what I've committed to His trust till the decisive hour.
--Henry Drummond

Sarah, a friend of mine from HS, posted the following in her blog; "I will not lie, I'm terrified that Jesus will abandon me, but that's against his character and against his word, and I know that to be true." I could not agree with her more!

I have accepted a teaching position at Westfield High School, in Houston, Texas. I moved to Houston on Wednesday, 22 September 2010. The Lords hand has been in this situation, since the interview. I have been blessed in numerous ways! I would love to share those blessings, but many I am not comfortable sharing on this medium, due to state laws, etc. Feel free to ask me anything in person.

Blessings I will share in this public forum:

• Great interview
• People reaching out to me in Houston
• People from San Antonio, reaching out to help me
• People that used to live in Houston, reaching out to me
• My brother introduced me to a friend from college, that has been a great friend to me!
  
• A friend from UTSA's Methodist group, Upgrade, has continued to bless my life with friendship and a place to stay, while I was looking for places to live
• Multiple teachers have reached out to me, and tried to help me in any way possible!
  
• A great department chair
  

Those are just a few of the incredible blessings I have received this past week. Thank you family and friends for continued prayers! Please keep them coming, as starting mid-year can be quite the challenge. I want prayers for joy! Each and everyday, I want the students to see joy in my life!

Rejoice the Lord is King, your Lord and King adore. Mortals, give thanks and sing and triumph evermore. Lift up your heart, lift up your voice, Rejoice, again I say, Rejoice! His Kingdom cannot fail, He rules o'er earth and heaven. The keys of death and hell are to our Jesus given. Lift up your heart, lift up your voice, Rejoice, again I say, rejoice!
--Rejoice the Lord is King