Brain MRI/MRA w/ and w/o contrast

My Brain MRI/MRA w/ and w/o contrast was by far one of the easier tests for me. I am getting used to different tests, scans, and bloodworks. My appointment was set for 2:25pm--I was seen at 2:23pm to begin the process of the scans--impressive.

• I was smart and wore no jewelry (except for my watch, which I did have to take off). I was also sure to wear a dress, with a built in bra...that meant I did not have to wear a gown!
• Once in the room, I laid down on the sliding bed, placing my head on a raised platform with a pillow. The technician made sure that my head was facing straight up, and then he put something over my head. When I looked up, I could see right through the cage looking thing, and I could not turn my head, so what it looked like on the sides, I have no clue. Perceptions can be nice. Luckily, I am not claustrophobic like my mother. Being in the machine was not a problem for me.
• The bed moved my upper body into the machine and test started. I just laid there. I laughed at one point, becasue the sounds are so funny! I felt like I was in the middle of a rap movie.
• They had to redo that set of scans. Oops! :( Laughing makes the brain move and I was supposed to lay still.
• After what felt like an eternity of laying still, 14 cc's of gadolinium (contrast), was injected intravenously. I did not cry! I took it in my body. Unlike the abdominal MRI, this time the gadolinium was painful to my elbow, but did not make my entire body go flush. It was a much lesser amount used, and injected at a much slower rate.
• The scans continued and after a while longer, I was done. For the next two days, my elbow was sore off and on, and my muscles were incredible sore from the gadolinium. Oh well. I continue to drink lots of water!

My results--all is normal in the brain. I do not have an aneurysm. I do have some sinus disease. Maybe allergy? We are looking into it.

I thought you might want to see a picture of my brain. So here's a couple for your viewing pleasure. It has been confirmed, I have a brain! :)

Tough Questions I'm wrestling with...

These past few months have led me to wrestle with my faith, and not whether or not I believe in God, that's not the struggle for me. I struggle with, "Will God do as He promises?" I am struggling with my lack of belief; I am struggling with my broken dreams and desires; I am struggling with continuing to be faithful during this unsure time in my life.

My mother shared the following devotional with me recently--I was brought to tears.

At the age of 16, pianist Leon Fleisher made his formal debut at Carnegie Hall with the New York Philharmonic. He went on to win prestigious international competitions and played in the world’s finest concert halls. But at the age of 37, Fleisher was struck with dystonia, a neurological condition that crippled his right hand. After a period of despondency and withdrawal, he turned to teaching and conducting, because, as he said, he loved music more than he loved the piano.

When our dreams are shattered, how do we react? After Joseph, the favored son of Jacob, was sold as a slave by his brothers (Gen. 37:12-36), he could have given in to self-pity and self-indulgence. Instead, Joseph remained true to the Lord. Four times in Genesis 39, we read that “the Lord was with” Joseph (vv.2-3,21,23), and his actions revealed his own faithfulness to God. By his exemplary life, those he served in Egypt recognized God’s presence with him.

Do we love God more than our own dreams? Although Joseph must have grieved the loss of his past and what his life could have been, the Lord led him to a calling he had never imagined. Today, the Lord longs to lead us. Are we willing to be redirected by Him? — David C. McCasland

My cherished plans may go astray,
My hopes may fade away;
But still I’ll trust my Lord to lead,
For He doth know the way. —Overton

A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. —Proverbs 16:9

And then I realized, I needed to continue to think, pray, and wrestle with the following questions.

• When my dreams of teaching missionary kids in Ukraine, at KCA are shattered, how do I react?
• Do I love God, more than my dreams of returning to Ukraine?
• Am I willing to be redirected by Him?

This time in my life continues to be a challenge. And I continue to think back on the Word, what scripture promises, as well as the words of love and encouragement people have given me. One of the greatest blessings is that my monthly supporters are still supporting me. I was very scared that my financial support would stop, and I would be left on the wayside.

I am teaching a women's bible study on Mark. The memory verse I chose for the women was:

Mark 1:41
Moved with compassion, Jesus stretched out His hand and touched him, and said to him, "I am willing; be cleansed."

I love this verse for multiple reasons.

• God was moved with compassion
• Jesus physically did something, he stretched out his hand and touched him
• God is willing

I'm trying to believe that God is willing and wants to heal me at some point also--whether it be through doctors or miraculously. In case you were wondering, they memorized the verse! Success! :)

Cardiologist Appt

Two and sometimes three appointments in one day is never fun, but that's how I seem to schedule them. My first appointment was with the ophthalmologist. Due to my increased blood pressures, and genetics, I went in for a visual field test. I am thankful that I only have some slight hemorrhaging in my right eye, and the visual field turned out normal. My ophthalmologist also dilated my eyes and checked my pressures.

My second appointment was with the cardiologist, due to my librating blood pressures. Once again, I went through all of the symptoms, as well as family history. Shortly after starting the exam, the cardiologist looked at my eyes, and his demeanor very quickly changed to concern. My Mom then interjected, "Faith just had her eyes dilated this morning!" And he thought that he might have to disclose that I was enjoying some drugs. Hahah! I guess you had to see the look on the cardiologist face; it was priceless!

My great grandfather, my grandmother, most likely my uncle, and possibly my sister have either died or had surgery on a barry form aneurysm of the brain. Next week, I will be going in for a Brain MRI/MRA. Yes, another MRI, with and without contrast, this time of the brain, as opposed to the abdominal. Thank God I'm not claustrophobic. We would like to rule this out.

The cardiologist is determined to find a clear diagnosis for me. :) He says my case is fun, interesting, exciting, and challenging!

In the meantime, as I continue to go through a battery of tests, I am thankful for the blessings God continues to shower upon me through so many amazing people!

Keep Jesus on the Throne of life

I shared with you one of my favourite hymns a couple weeks ago; today I am sharing one of my favourite songs, Rhonda Vincent's, "Keep Your Feet on the Ground."

But whenever things get really tough, I think back on the times.
When I was just a girl and Dad would say.

Keep your feet on the ground, what goes up must come down.
And solitaire's a lonely game when there's no one else around.
Keep Jesus on the Throne of life no matter where you're bound.
He will always help you keep your feet upon the ground.

The past few months have been a roller coaster, to say the least. Life is tough; I must cling onto Jesus, who will always help me keep my feet upon the ground! I do not know what is next, nor do I know when, or what the diagnosis will be. What I do know is God is here and ever present.

Health Update

As the days go by, my body seems to be healing, but there is still something wrong. Over Christmas holiday, I went to Taos Ski Valley, NM, with my family. On the way home, my blood pressure spiked, quite a bit. Was this from altitude? Elevation? Going to the washroom?

Upon arriving back in San Antonio, I did another 24-hour urine, and blood work, at the endocrinologist. I also went to the family doctor, where I had an EKG and some more blood work done. All tests have turned out normal. I fear waiting for the 24-hour urine, and not doing it during the drive home was a bad choice. As far as the blood work, same thing, it was too late. At the family doctor, he was just checking some numbers that had been previously high...and now they are normal--that is good news.

Due to my spiking blood pressures (which spike both high and low), and a normal EKG, I am going to be seeing a cardiologist.

Please continue to pray for a clear diagnosis. I do not enjoy being a medical mystery. One benefit...I am getting pretty good at doing one of my most hated things--going to the doctor!

Be Thou My Vision

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise:
be thou mine inheritance now and always;
be thou and thou only the first in my heart;
O Sovereign of heaven, my treasure thou art.

This has been one of my favourite hymns for years--the words so simple, yet so true. How often do you just want someone to say "Good job!" or "Way to go" or "I just love that", etc. God does not tell us to seek the attention of man. We should not be doing things, simply for praise from other people.

In Psalm 90:17 it says, "Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us; And confirm for us the work of our hands. Yes, confirm the work of our hands." Isn't Gods blessing on what we do so much sweeter than mans? How often do we forget to ask God and just seek the opinion of other people?

That being said, writing a blog, and keeping up with it regularly is quite difficult for me. I do not have a hard time writing, or sharing opinions, or even sharing snipits of my life; I do want to know that man (people) not only read what I write, but like and accept what I have to say. I want you to leave comments and reactions, not just tell me that you read my blog sometimes. I want confirmation that I'm not just doing this in vain.

I keep this blog to glorify God, not for my own good--otherwise I would've stopped writing a long time ago. My theme is "Let me tell you what great things God is doing" for a reason. I want to share with you Gods greatness in hopes that we can glorify Him together! :)

The Power of Prayer

The Power of Prayer has really struck me recently, and if I really, truly, believed it worked, I would pray without ceasing. As I was reading, First Press, a bi-weekly news and information mailer, from First Presbyterian Church, I was blown away, after reading the following story.

An Inkling, posted by Keith Hill

"Tears streamed down his cheeks as he told about the letter. His Mom had just died at the age of 97. As he was cleaning out her house, he found an old box of letters, one of which was written to him as a baby by his grandparents. His mom had filed the letter away, and he had never known that it existed. In the letter his grandparents told him that they were very proud to have him in the family, and that they would pray for him daily to become a Christian, and then to become a pastor.

The man I hear tell about this letter is Gary Demarest, a retired pastor, and a leader among evangelicals in the the Presbyterian Church. One reason that the letter touched him so deeply is that he never really knew those grandparents. Moreover, his parents were not practicing Christians, and so Gary grew up ignorant of the faith. By God's grace others introduced him to Christ as a teenager. Soon after, he determined that Go had called him into the ministry. He served as a pastor for over 50 years. Gary was so overwhelmingly grateful for those grandparents who prayed for him that he could hardly tell the story.

All of which leads me to ask: for whom are you praying?"

A friend of mine, Jessica, posted a great blog entry on praying for missionaries. I still covet the prayers of my family and friends because either you are a missionary or you need a missionary. :)

Ways to be active in prayer for missions.

Even if you are unable to go on a cross-cultural missions trip, or financially support missionaries, you can still support us and be involved in missions through your prayers.

The following ideas were taken from World Gospel Mission's magazine The Call, and can be found online here.

1. Select a missionary whose work and daily life are accessible to you. Privately, each morning or evening, pray with fervent desire that your missionary will be blessed.

2. Give prayerful consideration to your life and to all the people in it. Is there any group of people, nation, or race against whom your heart is hardened or whom you struggle to understand or love? Study this group, and learn more about them and their history.

3. Jesus commanded His disciples to begin their missions work in Jerusalem. What center of power is there to which you submit? The national capital? Your school? Your family? Whoever it is, contact them and ask them specifically how you can pray for them. Later, contact them again and ask how things are going in the area where you prayed.

4. Each day for a month, start your morning with a sincere plea to God to make clear His will for your life. Do not argue or bargain—just ask God to show you what He wants.

Gods Promises will come into Fruition!

Do you hear that? Gods promises will come into fruition!

Isaiah 55:11, "So shall My word be which goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me empty, Without accomplishing what I desire, And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it."

And because Gods promises will come into fruition...

Isaiah 55:2,3, "Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, And delight yourself in abundance. Incline your ear and come to Me. Listen that you may live; And I will make an everlasting covenant with you."

God wants us to delight in abundance! He wants us to live, and to live gloriously!

Happy Boxing Day!

Actively living Scriptures!

God wants us to be an active part of scripture. Deuteronomy 30:14, "The word is very near you, in your mouth and in your heart, that you may observe it."

Micah 3:8, "I (Faith) am filled with power--With the Spirit of the Lord--And with justice and courage."

Micah 4:5, "Though all the peoples walk, Each in the name of his god, As for us (Faith), we will walk In the name of the Lord our God forever and ever." It's a choice. What god are you walking with?

Romans 11:36, "For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen." Notice the wording--from, through, and to, all encompassing of the past, present, and future.

I am learning how to take scripture and own it! :)

In closing, this weeks prayer, as part of the First Cup readings had the following portion of "Oh Little Town of Bethlehem."

The hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight...descend to us, we pray; cast out our sin and enter in, be born in us today...O come to us, abide with us, our Lord Emmanuel.

Dealing with Disappointment

I have been struggling with being stateside. My heart is in Ukraine, and I cannot wait to go back. People keep telling me, you'll get to go back...the question is when? I have been preparing to go to Ukraine for five years; I find being stateside terribly disappointing. Last night, I dreamed that I was a pilot, and I flew people to Ukraine! (That meant I got to go too!)

When a person looks forward to something, prepares, and says, "Yes" to God, what happens when plans abruptly change due to unforeseen circumstances? How do I (Faith) continue to say, "Yes" to God? What is God asking me to do now? Just chill out and wait?

I am thankful to have a wonderful family--extended family included! My Mom mentioned that a cousin of mine has had to deal with some disappointments due to health reasons, and that I should talk to him. My cousin gave me some very good advise. Number one, read the whole book of Micah, maybe twice, and pay particular attention to Micah 7:7-8. I love the fact that my cousin pointed me to scripture!

Going back to appropriating scripture...

Micah 7:7
But as for me (Faith), I (Faith) will watch expectantly for the Lord; I (Faith) will wait for the God of my (her) salvation. My (Her) God will hear me (Faith).

I believe that is where I am right now, I need to watch expectantly, expecting that God wants to and will do great things through me! I will wait (and waiting is hard!) God will and does hear me as I cry out to Him and struggle through the disappointment of being stateside.

Micah 7:8
Do not rejoice over me (Faith), O my enemy. Though I (Faith) fall(s) I (Faith) will rise; Though I (Faith) dwell(s) in darkness, the Lord is a light for me (Faith).

This goes back to what John was telling me about appropriating scripture--even though I've thrown away some of Gods promises, I can pick them back up again--though I fall, I will rise! I am in a period of darkness and a lack of understanding; Christ is my light.

Number two, keep praying and seeking Christ. See what the last thing He told you was, and then ask for the wisdom to carry that out. Sometimes God works in strange ways, but He's working with people (you and me) that do strange things.

Number three, keep on worshiping Him. Sing praise to Him, glorify Christ!

Number four, pray with friends, regularly!

Recurring themes--Loving Obedience

As I study the Word, I am blown away by people's devotion to God, and His faithfulness to them. Our last sermon was about saying, "Yes!" When Jesus asks us to do something, the proper response is, "Yes!"

God was/is faithful to

• Noah
• Abraham
• Moses
• Mary
• the Disciples
• Me (Faith)

Each of these servants of Christ was faithful, regardless of how absurd, ridiculous, or weird it seemed, because they loved the King! (Faith is learning how to be faithful to Christ no matter what!) I want to do what God asks, because he asks!

Mary had the faith that God would do something amazing. (Luke 1:26-38) Do you have the hope and faith that God wants to and will do great things through you? Saying, "Yes" is a moment to moment decision, a pledge of obedience; what would look different if God was your King and you said, "Yes?"

Standing on the Promises

I attended the funeral of Cecil Sparks today. He was an incredible man of God that chose to serve others out of love. Before his death, Cecil chose the hymns that would be sang at his memorial service. One of them he chose was, "Standing on the Promises."

Standing on the promises that cannot fail,
When the howling storms of doubt and fear assail,
By the living Word of God I shall prevail,
Standing on the promises of God.

Those words speak to me, as I have been struggling with standing on Gods promises the past few months. It was stated that Cecil knew Jesus Christs promises intimately--I want to be like that, but I know it is not an easy road.

This past Sunday, Ruthie preached on Preparing for Christ the King. It spoke to me when she said, "Watch for and see how God takes interruptions in your life and changes them to divine appointments!" She then challenged us with the following question, "Are you prepared to be used by God?"

What give Jesus Joy?

What gives Jesus joy? That was one of the points stated during last Sundays sermon. I think that it gives Jesus joy to see us serve others through love. On Saturday, Mom and I went down to Bethany UMC to help put up Christmas decorations. Instead, we helped clean up the nursery. Funny how things like that work.

Love is a force that conduits through people. --Cecil Sparks

What are you doing that gives Jesus joy?