I (God) will...

We know from physics, specifically Newton, that for every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction. Paralleling that information, every choice we make, whether good or bad, has a consequence--some wonderful, some not so great.

"So that the world may know that I love the Father, I do exactly as the Father commanded Me."
John 14:31

I felt called to go to Ukraine; I made a conscience choice. To show that I love God I TRY to do exactly as he commands and calls me to do. How do you show your love to Jesus Christ? What is He calling you to do? Are you doing what He has called you to do?

"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."
John 14:18

This verse comforts me, as right now, I feel like an orphan when it comes to finding a job. Before I left for Ukraine, I had a fabulous job, wonderful co-workers, and job security. On the flip-side, had I chosen disobedience, deciding not to serve Christ in Ukraine, I would probably still be teaching at that very same high school, with a great group of people, under fabulous leadership.

This I struggle with. I'm not going to lie; I feel abandoned by God right now. I am looking and searching for a job, yet I have not been able to land an interview. I know I am a good teacher--I also know that I am usually hired on the spot. A piece of me is crying out, "Give me a chance!" This verse is so sweet to my heart and ears. "I will not leave you" and note what God will do, "I will come to you."

I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in His word I put my hope.
Psalm 130:5

I'm waiting God! Would you please come sooner than later, as this patience thing is hard! Lord, I am waiting, I have put my hope and trust in you, come to me, like you promise us in your Word! I (God) will...come!

Happy Birth!

Today my birthday buddy and I celebrated our 3/4 birthday with my Mom! :) Hence...Happy Birth--3/4 of Happy Birthday! Our lunch was fabulous, as you can see in pictures below and I am so blessed to be able to celebrate this special occasion with fabulous women! Thank you for making my day special!

Kit and I with our special foods and deserts. The turkey burger was awesome!

Mom with her super yummy food.


Mom and I...too bad both of us had our eyes shut.

What burdens have you been blessed with?

You have been blessed with a burden, my daughter. And I envy that. I admire you.
--Freedom Writers

I shared this movie quote with my Mom, as I felt it speaking right to my core. "Mom, I have been blessed with a burden." My Mom's response, "Which burden are you talking about, Faith? You've been blessed with burdens." All I could think was, "You're right Mom, all of them." I do not foresee people envying the burdens on my heart, nor admiring me for what I do. I try to love God and others, like Jesus tells us to love. God gives us experiences to share with others--to lift people up and encourage them, to bring them closer to Him. I desire to bring you closer to Jesus Christ through this blog, through sharing my experiences.

Therefore we also have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him.
--2 Corinthians 5:9

In 2 Corinthians 5:9, we learn that our ambition should be to please Jesus Christ. It is crucial that I have a strong desire and strive to please Him. I have been given these burdens for God's pleasure. I struggle with this. My friend and I were talking about this very matter the other night--God gives us things for His pleasure, at His will, so that He will be glorified. Let's be honest, sometimes, I don't want that stuff. I want Christ glorified, don't get me wrong, I just have no desire to be the next Job. That being said, as I write this, I continue to struggle with this, and I believe God honours us as we are challenged. Struggle well, my friends.

As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.
--1 Peter 4:10
Shepard the flock of God among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not for sordid gain, but with eagerness
--1 Peter 5:2

Job hunting is never fun. And sometimes accepting those gifts and burdens that God has given you are just as difficult, as finding that perfect job. Yes, I love teaching high school math, but sometimes, I just want relief. To be a good teacher, you pay the price. The work is long, hard, and demanding; physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Every year I am blessed with students that want to help me out in a variety of ways. I've heard it said, "It's the only thing they have to offer you (their help), do not take away that gift from them."

I am reminded of something shared to me, by a friend and pastor.

Henri Nouwen about the significance and power of touch:

Touch, yes, touch, speaks the wordless words of love. In friendship touch often gives more life than words. A friend's hand stroking our back, a friend's arms resting on our shoulder, a friend's fingers wiping our tears away, a friend's lips kissing our forehead --- these are true consolation. These moments of touch are truly sacred. They restore, they reconcile, they reassure, they forgive, they heal. Everyone who touched Jesus and everyone whom Jesus touched were healed. God's love and power went out from him (see Luke 6:19). When a friend touches us with free, non-possessive love, it is God's incarnate love that touches us and God's power that heals us.

Take up thy cross with willing heart and humbly follow after Me...let not its weight fill thy weak spirit with alarm; His strength shall bear thy spirit up and brace thy heart and nerve thine arm...
--Hymn, Take Up They Cross, the Saviour Said

As I look for employment, my prayer is that I keep in mind, this is not just about me and my wants--it's about where God has called me to serve. Yes, I know the work will be long, hard, and demanding. I also know that God has given me these gifts and burdens to serve Him, eagerly, and with excitement! His strength will carry me forward when I am physically, emotionally, and spiritually weak. Thank you, Jesus.

What burdens have you been blessed with? How are you serving Christ, with what He has given you? Are you leaning on Him when you are emotionally, physically, and spiritually weak, and exhausted to the core of your being? God has blessed you with a burden. How are you bringing others closer to our loving Saviour with that burden you have been blessed with?

Congratulations, Graduate!

My little brother walked the stage, for his MBA on Saturday! I am very proud of him! He has one class that he will complete this summer. Dad was a Marshall for the ceremony, and Levi was graduating, so we had fun celebrating! Check out the pictures below! :)

Dad and Levi...note one proud Daddy!

Myself and Levi

Myself, Levi, Mom, and Dad


Some pretty flowers that I saw on the drive home. It was on a fairly busy street. I love the bird, just chilling out!

Fort Sam Houston Army 10-Miler

Race: Fort Sam Houston Army 10-miler

Distance: 10 miles
Goal Time: 01:40:00 (10:00 min/mi)
Actual Time: 01:36:28 (09:38 min/mi)

The drive down to FSH was rather pleasant and uneventful. Upon arriving, the first gate I chose was closed. I called Coach, and asked him where to go. He gave me directions. The second gate I chose, the guard did not want to let me in, because he was unaware that the race going on. I was then forced to turn around, and go back out to find another entrance. As I was entering the city street, Coach called, asking where I was. Crying, I very quickly explained that they were not letting me on, and this is where I was at. So...what does Coach do? He comes and picks me up. I parked at FSH Golf Course, and was given a ride by the race director himself. He brought me in as his athlete. Thank God! :)

Mile 0: Stressed, glad I made it, received my number, #69, and was glad to see Emily and James--two people that I have run with during training runs. I also ran into Kathleen, who was gracious to take my fleece, so that I did not have to run with it. James, Emily, and I started off, James, very quickly ran ahead, and Emily and I ran the rest of the race together.

Mile 1: Just over ten minutes, although James, Emily, and I, started in the back. We did this for fun. Not competition. James sped up and off he went. At our first water stop, I told Emily that I like to stop and drink the water. She does too. :) So we kept on going together.

Mile 4: I was feeling my toe. I've been taping them for runs, and icing them when I can. I hurt my big toe a while back, not sure how or what's wrong, but taping seems to help some.

Mile 6: I was encouraged, as our time was still right on par for my personal goal.

Mile 7: Kathleen and the girl scouts were handing out water--it was great to see Kathleen! I've done some training runs with Kathleen too!

Mile 9: I kept up with Emily, and Emily with me, until the very end. My hamstring were killing me, and she was about 30 seconds faster than me, for the last 1/2 mile.

Mile 10: Finished! And under goal time! :) Yippee!

This race is one of my favourites and I thoroughly enjoyed running with Emily. I skipped a lot of the miles, as I didn't really notice too much, as I was to busy talking to my new friend.

Riding the Mission Trail

I've wanted to ride (bicycle) the Mission Trail here in San Antonio, for quite some years. From Mission Concepción to Mission Espada, eight (8) miles of dedicated paved pathways are reserved for the hiker and biker. There are five missions--The Alamo, Mission Concepción, Mission San Jose, Mission San Juan, and Mission Espada.

A friend of mine, was supposed to go with me, but he got sick. Right when I received that message, I looked up and said, "Oh man." My running coach was sitting across from me, and said, "What was that about?" So I said, "I was supposed to ride the mission trail today...I've been wanting to do it for years, but now I'll have to go another time." He then asked me, "How about Thursday?" and of course, I said, "Sure!" :) We worked out a time and I was set.

Coach and I rode the Mission Trail--it was beautiful. He told me all about race history, the Missions, Texas history, and all sorts of interesting information. I was so excited! I came home and told my Mom about the ride! I then told her that she had to go and bring a camera in the next few days. The Texas wildflowers are breathtaking right now! :) And the Texas heat, well, we're in the 90's.

So...Friday afternoon, Mom and I rode the mission trail together. We rode from Mission Concepción to Mission Espada. Below you will find pictures of our special ride. Happy Mother's Day Mom, I had fun spending time with you riding!

Historic Structure

Cool Hay Art


More Hay Art


My beautiful mother, enjoying some water. It was in the 90's!


We kept seeing cranes on our ride.


Mission Espada


I can hardly believe how short the doorways are!


Myself in front of Mission Espada


An upwards view of Mission Espada


We checked out the Espada Dam and Aqueduct




As you can see from these pictures, the flowers were just gorgeous and made for a lovely ride!



Mom and the flowers

Broke!

Today was a special day. I went to a pottery place, to purchase my Moms Mother's Day present. I knew some of what I wanted to purchase for her, although, I primarily wanted to look around to find that "perfect piece." After looking at piece after piece, I chose four different pieces of artwork--all useful. :) A teapot, a tortilla container, a bowl with a lid, and a flower vase.

I was able to go to HEB and pick up some flowers to put in the vase. Mom came home, right after me, and helped me put the flowers in her new vase. We used a frog--so I learned about frogs. I'm not even sure if I'm spelling the word right, but I learned something about flowers. I was excited, because I had picked the flowers out by myself, and they look quite lovely if I do say so. :)

Bouquet of flowers in the lovely vase; the flowers are quite pungent!

The teapot

The bowl with the lid

The tortilla container

Back up...between the time I came home from the pottery store, and left for the closest HEB, I very carefully took each of the pieces out of the bags they were in, unwrapped them, washed them, and dried them. I then placed them on the dining room table, so that my Mom could see them when she got home. Mom was able to look at them quickly, before we went out for a bike ride together.

Our bike ride was fabulous, and I could not have asked for a nicer time with my Mom...I will share about the ride in another post. This post is about my beautiful mother and some pottery. My Mother loves lavender. In fact, she painted her kitchen a lavender colour. I know that my Mom owns some similar pottery from a local artist in Taos, and I wanted to surprise her with some fun additions, that would complement what she currently has and uses.

Later in the evening, I was carefully putting the lids on the pieces, and was going to move the pieces of pottery to another table, so we could use the table for dinner and eating purposes. In reaching, my watch caught the top of the tea pot, and I broke the lid! Not all of it, but part of it. I was devastated. Actually, I still am. Here I was being so careful with these items, and then my watch catches the end, and I break the gift that I had chosen so carefully for my Mother. I did all I could. I picked up the pieces. And tried not to cry. That never lasts long for me. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a crier. I cry. And I cried.

This is so you can see where I broke the lid. It is a clean break, so it should be fixable. Both the hat, and the little tea cup are broken.

Mom hugged me and told me it was okay. But it's not okay. She didn't even seem to care too much. Don't get me wrong, she was sad that I broke it, but she seemed more worried about how hurt I was. I care though...I tried so hard to find a good and useful gift, and then I have to break it and ruin it myself before she ever gets to use it. I guess now it has character--because I broke it. Way to go, Faith!

Have you ever tried so hard to find that perfect gift, feel like you've finally found something that the other person would enjoy, and then presented it to them, only to ruin it yourself? I wish I could describe how awful it feels. I know my Mother still loves me, and I know that she knows it was an accident and that it can hopefully be fixed somehow, but it will never be the same piece it was when I bought it in the morning. It's broken, and can never be made 100% whole again.

As I write this, I am still in tears, over a piece of pottery. I'm sure, someday it will be funny, although right now, it feels like the end of the world in so many ways. I should consider this year another unplanned blessing--I am able to spend Mother's Day with my Mom. I had originally planned on being in Ukraine right now, and then I was so sick, we really didn't know what was going on...Mom keeps saying that she is glad that I am here to spend the special day with her. The situation in my mind has not been rectified. I don't know how that rectification will come though.

My mothers response continues to blow my mind--"You're my mother's day present, that's just stuff, Faith." I see Jesus in my Mom. You read countless stories in the bible, how things just don't go how the disciples wanted them to or thought that they should be, but Jesus, He still loves them, and calls them His disciples, and teaches them to do and be better. My Mom didn't throw me aside, she hugged me, and held me, and told me it was okay. She gave ideas for fixing the situation at hand. I just wish that it had never happened.

I wish there was a happy ending to this post, but really, there is no ending...at least as of yet. I'm still crying, and wishing my watch hadn't caught on the lid. So...if I remember I'll update the blog post of how the situation was rectified in the end.

Jesus, Thy Boundless Love to Me

This weeks opening prayer for the daily bible readings uses one of the verses in the hymn, "Jesus, Thy Boundless Love to Me." I found myself reading, and re-reading the following words...

Thine wholly, Thine alone, I'd live, myself to Thee entirely give.

This challenges me. It's not so easy to give God EVERYTHING and EVERYTHING of/about me. There are so many things in life that "get in the way" or take me off course, that I do not give myself ENTIRELY to Christ alone. How do you give yourself to Christ, each and everyday?

Our sermon on Sunday was about community. It was about giving up our freedoms to be in community with one another. We cannot say to each other, that's not my job, because it is our job. By giving ourselves to Christ, we are NOT being devalued, although, all to often, we emphasize where our rank is on the ladder, as opposed to wanting to serve others--what God has called us to do. Why do you continuously rank yourself next to others? Why do you fear being devalued? The church is to be a place where everyone is loved, honoured, respected, and cared for. It is my job to give my ENTIRE self to Thee.

Salt of the earth

You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men.
Matthew 5:13

Salt does three things:

• Salt preserves--As a Christian I am to maintain and continue to grow in my faith in Christ.
• Salt creates--Through my words and actions, I strive to make people want to know God.
• Salt cleanses--I fail sometimes, and through Jesus Christ, I am purified and refined. I must admit that I am wrong, and seek help. God is always gracious and merciful!

How are you maintaining and growing your faith in Christ? How do you make people want to know God in a more and real way? Are you confessing your sins to God and returning to Him, when you fail?

Fail!

¹¹And He said, "A man had two sons.¹²"The younger of them said to his father, 'Father, give me the share of the estate that falls to me ' So he divided his wealth between them.¹³"And not many days later, the younger son gathered everything together and went on a journey into a distant country, and there he squandered his estate with loose living ¹⁴"Now when he had spent everything, a severe famine occurred in that country, and he began to be impoverished.

¹⁵"So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. ¹⁶"And he would have gladly filled his stomach with the pods that the swine were eating, and no one was giving anything to him.

¹⁷"But when he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have more than enough bread, but I am dying here with hunger! ¹⁸'I will get up and go to my father, and will say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in your sight; ¹⁹I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me as one of your hired men."'

²⁰"So he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.²¹"And the son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.'

²²"But the father said to his slaves, 'Quickly bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet; ²³and bring the fattened calf, kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; ²⁴for this son of mine was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found.' And they began to celebrate.

²⁵"Now his older son was in the field, and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. ²⁶"And he summoned one of the servants and began inquiring what these things could be. ²⁷"And he said to him, 'Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has received him back safe and sound.' ²⁸"But he became angry and was not willing to go in; and his father came out and began pleading with him.

²⁹"But he answered and said to his father, 'Look! For so many years I have been serving you and I have never neglected a command of yours; and yet you have never given me a young goat, so that I might celebrate with my friends; ³⁰but when this son of yours came, who has devoured your wealth with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him.' ³¹"And he said to him, 'Son, you have always been with me, and all that is mine is yours. ³²'But we had to celebrate and rejoice, for this brother of yours was dead and has begun to live, and was lost and has been found.'"

Luke 15: 11-32

Sometimes I fail, and that's why I love Luke 5:11-32, and the book of Mark. In terms of math...
Failure ≠ Lack of usefulness
You can fail and still be useful!

What particularly sticks out to me is in vs 18--the man admits that he has sinned, he failed, he wants to be better, and needs help. The response to this mans humbleness is overwhelmingly gracious and merciful.

I love David's prayer in Psalm 25:16-18.

Turn to me and be gracious to me,
For I am lonely and afflicted.
The troubles of my heart are enlarged;
Bring me out of my distresses.
Look upon my affliction and my trouble,
And forgive all my sins.

David gets it! :) He is admitting that he's failed, and is asking for help! When you fail, are you going back and asking for help, admitting that you were wrong, or do you try to hide it and cover it up?

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Race for the Least of These and King Williams Parade

Race: Race for the Least of These

Distance: 10K (6.2138 mi)
Goal Time: 58 minutes (9:20 min/mi)
Actual Time: 00:57:42 (09:17 min/mi)
5K Split: 00:27:42 (08:54 min/mi)
19/29 racers total
06/11 women
2nd finisher in my bracket

I had a long run Friday morning--a nice 10 mile jaunt. And then Saturday, was this 10K race. I enjoyed Race for the Least of These, as it was small, and a nice stroll through McAllister Park. We had hail Friday night/Saturday morning, therefore, I was extra tired, and the ground was wet. I'm not a fan of running through mud, but that's okay. In fact, I had washed the car Friday, so I was bummed that it dirtied so fast! Ah well.

• Mile 1ish: I was surprised how good I felt.
• Mile 2ish: I wonder how I'll feel at the end of this!?
• Mile 2 1/2 ish: I saw Coach and he cheered me on, that was fabulous! I felt good, no, make that I felt great!
• Mile 3ish: Whoa, I'm almost done with the first 5K!
• 5K Split: I cannot believe I finished the 5K in 27:42. That's better than my last 5K. Maybe that's not so good, I have another 5K to go. I sure am happy with that 5K split time. I'm thirsty. So...just ahead I stopped and drank that water that was available to me.
• Mile 4: I need to slow down my pace a tad, it ended up being from from 8:54/mi to 9:39/mi...oh well. Over time I will learn how to pace myself properly.
  
• Mile 5: I'm almost done. This is nice.
  
• Mile 5 1/2: I passed a 5K runner and cheered her on! I was excited that she made the choice to do this fun run and finish! She did not give up. After I cheered her on, she in turn cheered me on. I was pleasantly surprised.
  
• Mile 6: Whoa, this is practically over.
  
• Finish line: Yay! I finished in under 58 minutes...my goal time.
  

Overall the six miles went by relatively fast, and there wasn't too much going through my head. I was kind of surprised when I was finished. The 10k'ers simply ran the 5k loop twice.

After the race, I went home, so that I could meet up with some friends and drive down to King William area, to celebrate one of the 2010 Fiesta events--King William Parade and Fair. I thoroughly enjoyed my time, watching the parade, browsing the vendors arts and crafts, listening to music, and spending time with great people from church!

Sara and myself.

Steven and myself.

1 Timothy 1:12-17

¹²I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service. ¹³Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. ¹⁴The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.

¹⁵Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. ¹⁶But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. ¹⁷Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.

1 Timothy 1:12-17

This here is an example of the icing on the cake! (See previous entry!) I thank Jesus Christ, our Lord, who has strengthened me, because He has considered me faithful, putting me into service, even though I am a sinner and I am wet! I have found mercy, because Jesus came into the world to save sinners. God's grace is more than abundant, amidst the faith and love, which are found in Christ Jesus alone.